The Quon and the Seven Newbs

The Quon and the Seven Newbs

Don't ever let it be said that The Quon wont help a newbie. Shiat, everyone deserves a little Quon love now and then. So, The Quon decides to head over to Crushbone and give some mad buffs to a few random toons. Took the Nexus pad to Greater Fay and on arrival busted with /shout "The Quon has arrived, all Hail!" As you can imagine there were an assload of responses coming back. The Quon did get phat props from gobs of peeps but on the other hand The Quon's Shit List got 13 new entries.

Anyway, The Quon rolls past Kelethin takin screenshots of nekkid Wood Elf scooties on the way, up and over orc hill, past the firepots and zones into Crushbone. For giggles I give a little hammer tap on the Orc Centurion standing in the corner and it starts trying to hit me. With the Orc trying to pound on The Quon's back I run over to the castle where there are 7 newbs all sitting around medding or performing some type of cyber circle jerk. The Quon stands right smack in front of them and /say "This is what happens when you disrespect The Quon Yo" and I nuked that Orc down in one mothaphuckin shot. The Quon knows they were crazy impressed cause they were too friggin amazed to even type back a reply. The Quon stands there a little while to let that shit sink in. Moments pass and I'm all like /say "Kneel before The Quon and you shall feel The Quon's l33tness." The Quon waits for them to pay their due respect and shit. WTF? only 3 of these phucks /kneel?? They don't know who the hell they are messin with. Maybe they didn't hear The Quon because they were in mid jerk, so I repeat that shiat one more time. Holy piss, out of the blue one of these assclowns /says "We don't kneel for nobody bitch."

AWWWW SHIT!, there is going to be reverence paid to The Quon whether these petunia's want to or not. You can believe that yo.

/say "Last chance newbs, /kneel"
No response.

The Quon hits the Walk key, to be all dramatic and shit, and strolls into the castle. Walk right to the throne and start tapping orcs left and right yo. By the time The Quon has clinked all those Cents and Lego's it looks like The Quon has an overgrown, Ooompa Loompa, Conga line strung out behind his fine ass. I take that shit out to my new found playa hatas and snuggle The Quon all up nice and close, cast DA, and watch from overhead view as the Seven Newbs all take dirt naps at The Quon's feet. Once those phucks bit it, The Quon decided to take the parade global yo. Conga'd our way to Trainer Hill, the tents, and Slave camp. By the time The Quon zoned out of CB there were 27 fatalities and 16 mobs in the Death Dance Line. Seconds before zone out, these words were heard, /ooc "Don't EVER disrespect The Quon, a simple /kneel from 4 fucknuts would have prevented this horrible act of vengeance, remember that"

The Quon zones out and gates on back to the Nexus to /LFG. Wasn't but 4 minutes later that a GM sends a /tell "We understand that you trained a lot of people in the zone of Crushbone." /r "Ummm, hello, can't understand, you are breaking up." She's all like "Quon, you have not been observing the PNP (Play Nice Policy)." /r "Play with this scootie, they had it coming for not respecting The Quon." GM-"Training players is expressly forbidden in EQ." /r "I hear ya, wanna cyber?" GM-"You are dangerously close to account cancellation." /r "Is that a yes?" GM-"You sir, have been warned, do not make another mistake." /r "The Quon has mad cyber skills glazecake, let me perform some verbal stimuli on you sweet thing. Once you go Quon you'll find your panties on the lawn." Yeaaah. Interestingly enough the conversation ended here. That biatch is prolly looking up The Quon's email addy to send erotic photos and shit.

The Quon out.